Making a decision about having a kid

I’ve been trying to decide if I want to have a kid for about 5 years. I just turned 39. I feel neutral about the circumstance of having a kid, like I could go either way with it. I think it would be 50/50 good and bad to be a parent. I can’t seem to decide whether I want to do it or not. Sometimes I want to go for it and sometimes I don’t. It takes up a lot of space in brain trying to decide one way or another because I never feel strongly one way or another. I would like to make a decision and move forward from the drama of going back and forth.
I have tried to ask myself, “what if you knew the answer?” or what if it doesn’t matter if I don’t know the answer. I am wondering if there are resources you could direct me towards regarding decision making or moving through uncertainty about what decision to make.