My husband said he’d do the dishes for me cause he could see I was tired. later i went in and the dishes weren’t completed and that bothered me. I had a lot of thoughts around that. Why does he stop midway and then who does he think is going to finish them? So he said he’d do them then doesn’t and I have to do them anyway.
I asked if he was going to finish and he said he did them up to a point (some of the kids got home a little late and so weren’t quite finished eating) and that he was done or the night. I was frustrated and felt he said he would do something then doesn’t so its left up to me to finish them. So he really didn’t help me out in the long run. He said its hard to want to do something nice for you because I’m unhappy if its not done the way I want it to be. Ouch. I don’t know or feel this is true but not sure how to see this correctly. So we went back and forth for a minute trying to get the other one to see our perspective. It didn’t work so I went in and finished the dishes. After a few minutes i asked if he would want to help me finish them because I was bugged he was just sitting there and after he finished what he was doing he came. I see we both let our thoughts get the best of us which caused us both to react poorly and argue about who was right or wrong. How does the model work in a situation like this when an issue arrises out of no where and seconds before you were both fine and now we are both upset and feeling wounded?