Manuals. Accepting spouse as he is, how far…


New to SCS, new to the idea of manuals. I’m accepting some of it and seeing things in a new way and from a new angle. One of our points of friction is that he “in my judgment and thought” makes big deals out of small things. I worked through some of this with my 20 min coaching, so if I can accept him for who he is and how he chooses to process things around him even if I don’t like it, how does that work when he is hurtful to our kids? When the overreaction is something that they have done and is directed at them? Sure this is still a “manual” on how I perceive a father should or should not act, but my kids aren’t in SCS and don’t have the tools at this point to not allow his behaviors to directly affect how they feel. We have all felt at times like our best isn’t good enough. There are some OCD issues on his side and extraordinary expectations *read his manuals for everyone else* that make it difficult. Even if I get to the place of choosing my thoughts about his behavior to not be negative therefore something that I have to react to or feel a certain way about, how do I handle it for the sake of my kids (aged 12-17 if that matters).