Model help

C: We are putting a bike together
T: He is irritated at me
F: irritated
A: I accuse, argue and buffer with food
R: I am irritated

C: same
T: he can be irritated, it’s just a thought he is having
F: uncomfortable
A: ask why he is irritated, argue, accuse, buffer
R: I have irritating thoughts.

I can’t seem to get to a place where I allow him to have his thoughts and I feel comfortable with mine about the situation. (I realize I am not allowing him to do anything)
I want us to work together and not feel uncomfortable because I can allow that feeling. Do I just have to be uncomfortable? How do I let him have his thoughts, body language and get to a place that I am not uncomfortable. Ugh! This feels impossible at the moment. I feel like I’m confusing myself.