Ok. Struggling with model.

C: M (boyfriend) tells me he doesn’t want to go diving
T: Being with M is stopping me from being with someone more exciting, who wants to try new things with me.
F: Angry. Frustrated. Panic!!
A: Argue with him. Try to make him change. Feel hopeless.
R: I shut him out; he gets angry; we spend day in silence.

I am trying to find a different thought that is more simple – like “M is not exciting”. But this isn’t ringing as true for me as the thought I’ve put up there.

The problem is, I can’t find a different thought for the “better” model. Being with M DOES mean I’m missing out on being with someone more exciting!!! I can’t get past THIS thought. Bottom line is, he isn’t interesting. He’s lots of other good things but what he isn’t is exciting. To me.

Here’s my new model:

C: M doesn’t want to go diving.
T: It’s ok to not want to go diving. It’s ok for M to be who he is. I want to learn to love him without always judging him.
F: disappointed but ok.
A: plan to go diving on my own
R: we don’t argue. I feel pleased I can do my own thing. We can be together without having to be the same.

This new model isn’t working…….

I’m a bit worried I need such help with my models. Doesn’t this mean I’ll always need to ask you what to think????