Hi,

I have a problem with my bf being too close to his ex-wife and therefore I tried to run a model now :
C: My boyfriend wants to see his ex on a regular basis
T: This relation is dysfunctional and it shows that he’s still in love with her. She abused his kindness in the past and will take advantage of him in the future.
If he keeps this relationship, he does not want to fully commit to me. He just sees me as a ” girlfriend” when she is the “ex-wife”
F: jealous, insecure, disrespected, upset, out of control
A: Constantly fight with my boyfriend, ask him to stop seeing his ex wife
R: he distances himself even more and commit less

Wanted model:
C: My boyfriend wants to see his ex on a regular basis
T: I am okay with my boyfriend having an history and I accept that he is still in touch with his ex-wife; She wants to get back with him but he does not want to. I know this is his past and I am his future; I don’t feel threatened by this relationship, I am worthy
A: I let him do what he wants and feels adequate
R: we are in harmony and strengthen our relationship

I see that I should go towards the 2d model but I cannot stop to think that maybe there is something fishy between the two of them.
What if my instinct is right and there is something there and if I should break up?