I’ve realized that most of my relationships have been based on people-pleasing i.e. lies. Can you give some feedback on these models please?
C- friendship with —
T – I don’t even know how I really feel about — and whether I even want to continue being friends
F – anxious
A – remember all the times that I was dishonest and pretended to be ok about things that I wasn’t, think of all the times I de-prioritized my own needs over theirs, avoid them, agree to things and then back down as I don’t know if it’s really what I want to do, go back to trying to make them like me by being inauthentic, fantasize about ending all my friendships and moving away to a faraway place
R – ?
C – thought that my relationships are based upon people-pleasing
T – I am a bad person and a liar
F – Shame
A – avoid close friends, see people I’m not as close to, spend time alone frantically trying to change myself, overdose on resources to help ‘fix’ myself (including scholars :)), deactivate my social media accounts, obsess about trying to find evidence that people don’t like the ‘real me’ or that they have uncovered my people-pleasing and lost respect for me
R – I feel bad about myself and am unable to find the truth (?)
C – Thought that my relationships are based upon lies
T – ?
F – Empowered, truthful
A – ?
R – (desired result) I am able to own my power and act out of love. I like myself regardless of how others might perceive me, I stop worrying about others opinions of me. My actions and thoughts are in alignment with my values