Thanks so much.
I am on a mission to find wiggle room in my unconscious thoughts. I am doing the exercise on Relationship.
I can see that my Mum has this manual on her family “you should know what to do or what she wants without her telling me”
She actually said this to me about 15 years ago when I was still dating my now-husband – “if he loves you he should know what to do without you telling him” and thank goodness I didn’t listen to her – we almost broke up because of this. And now the one person in the family I have the least issue is my husband – I just tell him what I want – my manual for him is very short – and most of the time I can just come out of my spin if he didn’t follow the manual. I let him to be himself.
Just writing this… I can see it… actually, now I have a manual for my mum : “mum you should not have the manual that you have about me reading your mind!”
C mum said “you should know what I want without me telling you”
T mum’s manual is stupid, it doesn’t work
A told her her thought doesn’t work. look for evidence that she is doing stupid things, looking for evidence that my manual is better and will work better
R I am following my own model that doesn’t work for our relationship