My husband and I (and our youngest son) live in IL. We moved here because my husband retired out of the military and his oldest son (he is 13) called him and told him he was a bad father for not choosing to be here. We sold everything we own and moved here. This is way before I learned about doing thought work. We have never lived with him. My husband and his ex-divorced when my stepson was 1 and she chose to move back to IL with all her family.
We have been here 2 years and don’t want to be here. I have guilt for not wanting to be here for my stepson but I just don’t want to be in IL. This is my second winter here and no matter how much thought work I do want to be in IL. We came from AZ which is the total opposite. (needless to say) I am balancing needing to provide security for my youngest son (school) meaning we choose to be stationary for the winter.
I have a million and one stories and am doing the self-pity work but when it comes down to it I just don’t want to be here. I am happy here but still don’t want to be here and it is because of the weather.
The guilt stems from not wanting him to feel like we are assholes but I know I can’t control what he thinks. I also have this idea that he will turn out different if we are here.
What work can I do to help myself make a decision?