My 20 year old daughter who lives at home has nothing but distain for my husband, her father. He’s not her biological father, I had her using donor sperm. But he’s been in her life since she was 6, and is on her birth certificate. So, he’s the only father she’s every known. He loves her and is good to her, but she doesn’t like him and in fact wants to change her last name. He works a lot, missed school performances and he has had a slew of health issues, so it’s created some chaos around that which did take my attention off of her as I helped him recover and she’s not forgiven him. There doesn’t seem to be anything I can say to help her change her mind about him and it makes me feel torn between the two of them. It feels like we have 2 households, 1 with my husband and I, and 1 with my daughter and I — My husband is patient. He has 3 grown sons and knows the ups and downs of raising children and young adults and tells me that he loves her and believes she loves him deep down, but I’m not seeing it. Sometimes I get so tired of her moody behavior around him, I just cannot wait for her to move out and yet, I want to keep her for as long as I can because I know it’s only a matter of time before she leaves the nest. I’ve worked the model over and over on this and haven’t been able to find any relief. I am stuck on wanting the circumstance to change. I want her to at the very least be nice to him, and even if she can’t see him as her father, she could see him as my husband and be nice. I feel torn up about it and in a no win situation. I’ve worked the model over and over again, and in the end I can’t believe that the way things are, is okay. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.