My Human Life Manifesto

Dear Brooke,

After reading your Life Manifesto I feel dread to write mine. I compare myself with, in my mind, your huge accomplishments, and mine modest ones. All kinds of thoughts come up that show my self doubt, lack of self confidence, deception, fear.
The feedback I always get from friends is that my life is so interesting, beautiful, that I’m so lucky… but I know, I could do much more. And I could have (and should have done (guild!)) done so much more until now. I’m 52 years old. On paper my life is pretty awesome, but I’m not impressed by myself since I know that I didn’t use my time and capacities as I could have, and still don’t. This is why I jointed Scholars.

Unintentional model
C. Accomplishments until now.
T. I wasted time and talent
F. Failure
A. Try to avoid this thought&feeling by convincing myself that I have to be happy with ‘what is’
R. No change, nothing new

Intentional model
C. Accomplishments until now.
T. I evaluate what I have done and do
F. Curiosity
A. Find out what I long for, really want to do
R. A planning for my future (new) activities

When I read this, the model seems to be okay. At the same time it’s still not very clear. It feels general. I’d love to write a Human Life Manifesto that makes me feel curious for my past, energetic for the future and thankful for what is.

Thanks for your suggestions.