My husband

My husband is coming home form being deployed overseas and I already feel myself getting excited, but also scared, we always go through a transition when he is gone a lot and it is an adjustment, I feel myself faking being happy about living with him again. We have 3 girls and when he is gone we have our routine and it works. When he comes home our house has a different feel and our girls are getting older and he does not know how to transition. I am feeling bad about my feelings because I am dreading living with him again. In doing some models I have relieved that its me that I am disappointed in, I have not learned how to manage myself and am fearful that I will never truly live my dream and be who I want.