my ‘Impossible Goal’ and how it affects my kids

Dear Brooke,

I have set an impossible goal of earning ten times what I make now by this time next year. I am a divorced/single mom of three young children and currently earn about 12,000 euro annually through part-time work, and my goal is to be earning 120,000 euro per year. I have chosen to work a few hours weekly for the past six years in order to focus on raising them and now I feel I want to work more and create financial abundance in our lives. However, as soon as I begin to envision this happening I become filled with anxiety and feel completely overwhelmed. I have very little free time as it is and when I think of putting more time into starting a wellness/weight loss coaching practice for women with kids (the business idea that I want to act on) I feel will not be able to do this without taking away valuable and needed time from my children. I have applied this problem to the model but I have not made any progress when it comes to changing my thoughts. Here is my original model:

C = I want to reach my impossible goal of 120,000 by February of 2020
T = This means I will have to neglect my three kids and deprive them of a committed mother
A = No action / continue focusing on them but feel resentful
R = I do not follow my dreams

Here is my second model:
C = I want to reach my impossible goal of 120.000 by February 2020
T = I can do this step by step without taking time away from my kids
F = Hopeful
A = I carve out very, very small pockets of time daily to act on my goal
R = I get closer to my goal (though nit as quickly as I would like to)

The problem is that I am not convinced by my second model or similar ones I have done – I don’ t believe the thought. Rather, thoughts like ‘I don’t have time to pee and I will have time to do this?!?’ and ‘I am my kids’ only support and I will be abandoning them’ are really loud in my brain. Help please!
Thanks so much in advance xo