Hi – for the last 2 years my husband has been unemployed.  I worked for a start up that IPO’ed and have a decent nest egg and I have a job that has allowed us the life to have him not work.  For a year I’ve begged him to work and he kept on with this idea that he wanted to create his own business.  I’ve pulled money out of our (100% mine) stock account to invest in this idea he has.  I’m not all on board, as I’d honesty rather he works and leave the cash in the stock market, but I can’t imagine another year of him wasting his career.

I’ve wanted to establish some goals and a budget with him (I’m head of finance for the company I work for) and he agrees, but he’s not making very good goals.  Like they’re lazy and easily achieved and he barely breaks even.  He can do some more.

I want to push him, but the more I push, the lazier he gets.  He says he doesn’t want me to manage him and I said “No, I’m an investor.”  But honestly, I’d never invest in him if I wasn’t married to him.  I literally bought him a job.

I’ve tried on a number of thoughts to create a different feeling, but nothing feels genuine.  I can trick myself to think different for a few hours, but ultimately goes back to I just think he’s lazy.  And I’m disappointed in him.  Which then makes me feel disappointed in me.

How can I support my husband and stop thinking he’s lazy when I don’t think he’s doing enough?

Thoughts I’ve tried on that give temporary relief, but not lasting… these create feelings of encouragement or at least a calm/neutral feelings.
– he’s doing his best….
– that could be challenging to have a wife that keeps on pushing you.
– drop the manual. He does him.
– I’m grateful for the success I’ve had
– I can’t control him, nor do I want to.
– regardless I still love him, even if he fails.
– we’ll be ok if he fails.
– if he fails I’d love to take over the business and quit my job.