My manual for myself

I recently realized that I have a manual for myself. I have a manual for how to be a wife, mother, physician, etc. Even though I realize that I wrote my own manual and that I control my own actions, I don’t like the manual. I think the expectations that I have for all of these aspects of life are unreasonable. For example, one of the things in the manual is that I never yell at the kids. Then in real life I end up yelling at the kids and then feel horrible about myself because I’m not meeting my own expectations. My manual includes never letting anyone down, taking on all of the responsibilities I am asked to take on without it causing a change to any other aspect of my life. I expect myself to be “perfect” and capable of everything that others expect of me. When I sit down and actually think about these manuals, I think they are completely unreasonable. I’m just not sure how to get rid of them. Thanks for your help!