My son annoys me

I know this might sound absolutely horrible but my son annoys me so much.

I’m certain he has some type of attention deficit disorder but my husband doesn’t want to have him on medication because he doesn’t want his personality to change.

Okay, so he annoys me. He asks so many questions and I have to ask him repeatedly to do things and then he forgets almost immediately after I tell him. This has been going on for years to the point where just being around him drives me nuts and I can feel myself tensing up (I’m a horrible mom, I know.)

C I have a 15 year old son
T He does not behave the way I want him to
F Annoyed
A I snap at him, avoid him
R I actually don’t show up or behave the way I want to

Please help me with this! I don’t want to be so annoyed by him lol I do love him dearly but I don’t want this to affect the rest of my family either or his self esteem.