I have realized that I don’t believe that I can be 118 pounds without struggling. I’ve never been very heavy with my weight being in the 130s, but it has felt like a constant struggle. I feel like I’ve utilized will power to keep my weight where it is and have never really stopped buffering with food and drink. When I try to imagine myself at 118 pounds and it being easy, I just don’t believe it. By easy, I mean that I won’t feel in constant battle with my urges, beating myself up. I understand that I will always be managing my emotions and planning my food and drink which isn’t always easy (and that’s okay).

Current model

C 118 pounds
T There is no way I could get to and maintain that without a struggle
F discouraged
A not planning food
R I continue to struggle

C 118 pounds
T I will be there and it will be simple and easy (it’s just math).
F confident
A planning my food, following what I plan
R I am there and it’s simple and easy.

I actually believe this second model after writing this all out. 🙂