No adverse circumstances?

Lately I’ve been feeling more empowered and able to tolerate/survive/thrive through what I am calling adverse circumstances.
It almost seems the more adverse the circumstances, the more clear it is to me that these are outside of me, not controlled by me and that I need to figure out how to empower myself. In a way, the more adverse circumstances have brought me more personal growth.
In the past I didn’t believe the phrase “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” but now I’m coming to believe it, and it took adverse circumstances.
Anyway, I know that in the model circumstances are always neutral….does that mean someone talking kindly is equal to them talking meanly? Someone stealing is equal to someone giving. I know we say again and again circumstances are neutral, I’m just still getting my mind around it.
Thank you so much!