Hello. I have been living with my husband for the last 3 years in a non relationship. He basically said he could not have a connected relationship with me. Either he was tired of working on our relationship or he does not know how. He is a very emotionless person. We have been married 21 years now. When we were working together on a home and family early in our marriage, he did have a relationship with me. We were friends, we plannded our future, and were regular partners sharing life together. Now we live in the same house and that is all. We have seperate rooms, we don’t do anything together, and we fix our own food. I have struggled with frustration and anger for these 3 years. Sadness for him. Rejection. I was so frustrated that it made me angry all the time. It just made me so angry seeing him. I was not a very nice person to anyone. Finally something clicked a few months ago and I have disconnected from the thought that I needed to have a relationship with him. Somehow it was very freeing. I am the nice person I want to be again.
I know I have a lot going on here but I have an intentional model. Can you help me tweek it?
C: Non relationship with husband
T: I think he is happy but I am definitely happy
F: Thankful and relaxed
A: Freedom from my thoughts that I have to worry about what he does or doesn’t do.
R: I am calm and not frustrated any more about him not wanting to have a relationship with me.