I’m really struggling believing my intentional model when it comes to the Circumstance of my husband. I’ve read and reread responses to others and listened to Brooke advise people when they struggle with the behavior of others. I know my husband is not someone I can control and I have to decide my thoughts and therefore my feelings about him.

But I really have a hard time believing myself when I tell myself my Thought line should be “this is ok, I’ll choose happy thoughts about him and his actions” so I can get to a Result of a happy household and marriage. I look at his factual actions (which before SCS I would absolutely define as sucking, being rude or dismissive or insulting) but now I try to just place the facts without judgment in the C line.

Tonight’s for ie- C: he refused to make the kids lunches after I asked for help.

I can’t seem to make myself think in the T line: “This is great! I don’t mind, I’ve worked all day, he snapped at me, now I’ll work more. I can do this. I rock.” I know I could do it all, but I want to be in a marriage where he helps and is supportive. I typically just think he’s unsupportive, selfish, cold and uncaring about me.

So long story short the Result line I want is a happy, peaceful household and family life for me and my small kids. But when I do an intentional model saying T: “I will do it all since he doesn’t help” I feel like it’s a total lie to say my Feeling from this thought would be happy or pleased about this and his actions. How can I think positive about a circumstance I don’t like and if I’m being honest with myself, I don’t want to like. I want him to be kinder, more helpful, more supportive. (I know that’s subjective- but making lunches isn’t. He either does or doesn’t do it).
At a bare minimum I just want justice in the household chore department!;) Thank you in advance.