Not Getting Involved with Others’ Beef

Hi Brooke,

My mother ‘has a beef’ with my brother, his wife and their two daughters. Their relationship is filled with anger, disrespect and ongoing fights for years.

I live thousands of miles away and recently came for a short visit and we had a family gathering.
Now that I am back to my home, each time I communicate with my mother she let me know she is disappointed of me that I was nice to them, that I talked with them, and that I bought gifts for their daughters.

I told her lovingly that I will not take part in her ongoing ‘beef’ with them and that having a relationship with them is important to me.
She said I will have to choose which camp I belong to. I know that she will end up suffering if she will continue with this attitude as she always had but I also know that her awareness is not ripe enough and may never be to comprehend the emotional adulthood we scholars get here. (I tried many times to work on things with her and she is filled with anger and hate all the time).

Is there any better way I can handle this?