Not sure I want to feel my emotions

My story is :
I don’t like my work right now for a lot of reasons or, I guess, because of this thought and a lot of other thoughts related to this one.
Also because I live and work in Paris, my boyfriend lives 2 hours away (in Orléans) and my family and friends live 5 hours away (in Bordeaux), I feel like because of a job I am away from the people I love. In this situation I don’t see my family and friends much (had a huge fight recently with my mom about that).
Thus I want to quit my job and go live with my boyfriend in Orléans. But there is no job for me there. I am a tax attorney for businesses and all the law firms are in Paris. I am still looking for other jobs quite related and/or think about what I could do instead (I kinda struggle there because studied a lot to become an attorney and it was not easy and I don’t mind quitting that but people around me disagree a lot).
Meanwhile I am trying to make peace with my job in order to quit it from a good place.

The thing is that I am under the impression that when I don’t resist my emotions, I cry. A lot. Like at least twice a day. And it never happened to me before.

Because my models are either :

C Work
T I don’t like it, it sucks, I am devalued
F Angry, Frustration
A Non action
R I don’t like it even more

And for me this model correspond to when I resist my emotions.

Whereas the following.

C Work
T Your job is ok and you can make it a good place, it is not because of it that you don’t see people you love
F Sad
A Crying (a lot)
R Still have that job that I can deal with and still miss my bf, family and friends.

Is it because I am not resisting my emotions that I am crying? And is it ok to not want that ?

Could you help me with that situation ? It’s all kinda blury. Or is it possible to get a tutorial or get coached by brooke (even tho It’s my first month in SCS) ?