One foot in the past – dreaming of future = stuck


C position at company
T I’m quitting
F trapped, exhausted, unwilling, not into it, moved on
A bogged down, not interested, not showing ups can’t keep on
R show up half-assed, position in title only, need to fire myself but haven’t

then…

c position at company
T I resigned, stayed on board
F drained, punished by me, not willing, fraudulent, going through the motions
A walk away, see if someone else steps up, put energy in new business
R drag old work habits into new business?

This is like the divorce or house- leaving on a grateful high note rather than angry and bitter, fighting with peers like I’m still attached. Creating a coaching business with the same niche as my old business will not free me from my poor work habits and management- but letting go of my role in this company is more true to myself, instead of working working working for contracts in a nonprofit that doesn’t compensate me is not what I am willing to do any longer. If I cut it loose- create a for profit business- I can make a salary. That is the goal.

Yet I cannot shake myself free from this position- I gave notice- maybe dissolve the company and move on, ok, how do I get to the place in the divorce where I am not angry that people don’t step up or feel like I’m owed? I don’t feel owed but I sure act like it.