Long story short as I can make it, since circumstances don’t matter too much: After quitting, with love, an architecture firm two years ago to travel full-time and freelance part-time – my primary freelancing-client has proposed buying (coincidentally! What?!) that first small architecture firm, to put me in charge of/partially own it.

I’m shocked and have all the thoughts! Epic thought download. I just started Scholars, but have known about the model for a few years and can usually work things out. This just feels too sticky and loaded with contradictions for me to unravel now.

One model that works/feels true for me is:
C: Opportunity exists.
T: I don’t want this.
F: Relief (from the agitation/anxiety of considering such a huge change)
A: Turn down offer.
R: No manager/owner position at this particular firm. Free to keep considering life purpose and possibility of life coaching (so much more exciting and good-scary to me!)

BUT: how do I tell if that relief is from “avoided something I didn’t want to do but felt like I should because it’s a great opportunity” vs “avoided a great growth opportunity because change is scary”. More models:

C: Opportunity exists.
T: This is a growth opportunity I should take because it makes so much sense.
F: Scared. Reluctant/obligated.
A: Remain undecided. Torture self. Talk self into it because it makes sense and I’m a sensible person.
R: I own an architecture firm. Even though it’s not something I would have chosen for myself… still could be satisfying.

C: Opportunity exists.
T: I want to own my own business. This is basically handing me that on a platter. I love the people, enjoy the business model they’ve put together, and I would learn and grow.
F: Grateful, excited.
A: Work to make opportunity a reality. Invest in “owning an architecture firm”-related growth. Grow into the work and develop a passion for it.
R: A fulfilling, challenging career choice.

All three of these models feel true to me. “I don’t want this” is ignoring the grateful/excited model, and vice versa. I can feel how I’m overdramatizing this, but I can’t see the thinking errors. This feels urgent – I have my coaching scheduled but Friday feels so far away. Help! (I didn’t put this in business because I am not worried about the business aspects, but the me-problems)