I’ve been working on my overdrinking – specifically when it comes to people that myself and my partner hang out with. For example, our best friends are heavy drinkers. Wonderful people who invite us over to their home – and they love to create their favorite drinks for us. I’ve always struggled with not drinking (or even drinking so much) at their home – and it’s been a real challenge since their belief is that a good host makes sure you have ample libations. Recently, we went over and I said “no, thank you” for about 15 minutes straight (not kidding) to a constant string of drink suggestions until I finally caved at margaritas – because I felt this would not stop until I drank something. (And the margarita I got was close to “bucket-size”… they believe “generous” means “generous pour”)
Anyway – so THIS has always been a struggle. Until this week. We took my daughter over – and I’ve just made the decision not to drink around my daughter. Regardless of where we’re at or what my partner does or anyone does, I don’t drink. So this was the first time we took my daughter over – and for some reason, I was able to say “no” to what ultimately was about 2 hours of on-and-off “Are you sure I can’t get you something to drink?” comments… with my partner drinking about a half-bottle of wine.
What the heck? 🙂 I’ve thought… “Dang, THIS is going to be the hardest thing… to not drink around our best friends?”… and then I bring my daughter over and I’m able to say “no” for 2 hours. So… I know the plan isn’t to have my daughter with me at every opportunity to drink… but why is it so easy when she’s there (she wasn’t even in the room most of the time… she was playing video games with our best friend’s kid)… and up until then, it seemed like the most impossible thing ever? And – how can I maybe use this, whatever is it, going forward?
The day after we took my daughter over, we met up with them again before a charity casino night – and I caved to a Big-Gulp-Size vodka drink at their house (they were SO HAPPY to make them!)… which led to 3 more at the charity night (when I’d already set a limit of two 24 hours before*). Seems like there’s a “switch” there in my brain around “who I am” when my daughter is around vs. who I am when she’s not. Or maybe I’m just prioritizing my “people pleasing”… My daughter takes priority over my friends, but if she’s not there, I try to please them by drinking. Dunno – but this little weird experience has made me re-think how hard saying “no” to drinking around certain people might be or not be. Thanks!
* Note: I’ve filled out the “Write It Down, Learn, Move On” sheet, too – from this experience. Not judging, now just REALLY curious. 🙂