I feel like I’m overanalyzing this but I want to figure out what’s going on and learn from it.
I went to a wedding this weekend with people i haven’t seen for a long time. They were all amazed at my weight loss and spent alot of the time questioning and complimenting me.
I’ve lost 9kg and I’m 1-2 kg from my dream weight.
I had already planned i would eat sugar and flour at the event which I did.
Then yesterday I felt depressed and full of cravings. I ate slightly more than protocol. This morning my weight was still up from the weekend and I had an unpleasant morning. I had massive urges to binge but kept my commitment to myself , went home and waited until 1pm when I normally eat my first meal. But after I ate my lunch i just kept eating until I was close to a 10 on the fullness scale.
I’m trying to figure out whether the extra urges were due to fear of failure now that people have seen me skinny. Or the extra pressure I’m feeling as my 30 day goal to lose that last 1.5 kg seems to be out of reach. Or just the physical effects of the exceptions on the weekend.
Everyone will know if I fail and regain the weight.
1 mistake and it all comes crashing down.
It looks like I’m going to fail at my September goal.
I might as well give up.
I’ve done models and I see the results these thoughts bring.
My new intentional thoughts are
*I know what to do to get back on track
*I’m ready to feel the urges and do the work
*I won’t give up until I reach my goal
But I still have niggling doubts. What if I fail?
Silly since I’ve done so well up until now.
Do I just keep practising the new thoughts or should I keep digging?
Sorry for long post. I appreciate your time so much.