I have a really hard time understanding how something that happens in the past like what happened 15 years ago with my mother is not causing me pain now. I am having a hard time differentiating the thoughts now and the thoughts then. I wonder if the model is not mixed up. I would appreciate your help in making it clearer.

C : 15 years ago, ceremony organized by my mother to say good by to house. Call. I hung up on her. No talking for 1 year
T : Her reactions are volative
F : Fear
A : Play various scenarios in my head to ask myself how she would react. I do not ask myself what I want for myself. Ruminate. Feeling angry, guilt and obliged to please
R : I am unpredicatble

C : 15 years ago, ceremony organized by my mother to say good by to house. Call. I hung up on her. No talking for 1 year
T : I respect myself
F : Serene
A : I let go of my expectations
R : I take control of my narrative