Penny and Phoebee

Hello Brooke. I need help. Three weeks ago I decided to ask an animal rescue about possible adoption families for my two puppies. I was feeling very overwhelmed with our busy household and the girls where peeping and pooping everyone. The women I spoke to said that she has the perfect family for them, this lady used to breed with miniature dauchunds and she lives about 1 hour away. She told me it would be an open adoption and I could see them any time. I asked her that if the adoption does not go through that she will return the girls to me. That was agreed upon. Another women came to pick up Penny and Phoebee and said she is the foster volunteer until the adoption goes through. I text her the next day and she said the girls where doing fine and then after that I did not get any replies to my many many text messages to both ladies. Finally I phoned the rescue director from my unlisted home number and she answered, she told me that the breeder adoption did not work out and that the foster women kept them. I told her that is not our agreement and she told me that I have no rights to the dogs anymore. I started to cry and beg her and she laughed at me and told me to make her to court. I again asked her to please send me a picture to let me know that they are ok and she put the phone down in my ear.

I spoke to my laywer and he send her a letter to insist that she return the dogs by sunday or we wil proceed to litigation. Today she phoned him and said that the dogs where adopted by an elderly couple and there is no way that i will get the dogs back as Desmond signed a release form.

I have not buffered at all, no food, wine, shopping… The only indulgence maybe is to dream up ways to pull out all her teeth without freezing and many worse thought that I can’t list here. I am not sleeping and the anxious guilt pain in my stomach is killing me. Im trying to think: C – Penny and Phoebee adopted T – are they safe; why is this women lying about who adopted them, she are allowed to do whatever the hell she wants; i hate her, she is a sociopath for laughing when I was crying, I am a bad mother to have given them up, I don’t deserve them back F – feeling of doom; Ill never seen them again, dispair, guilt R none A none.
Im feeling the feelings and I don’t think Im reacting to it but it is lingering and not letting up. Help me please. Lindi