People-pleaser with “clout”

I believe the story that I am a people-pleaser.  I have been coached on this and have made some progress on this.  I want more progress.

I am a coach and a nurse, and my work is held back because I worry what others think about my work.  I want to talk to people about what I am doing and then I weigh out in my mind how it will bounce off people ahead of time.  The “with clout” part is two-fold: I have been using my story that I am a people pleaser for so many years, and I have been working at my hospital as a nurse for 20 years, so I use that clout as my reason that I am who I am, so it keeps me safe.

Today I told myself that I am simply not a people pleaser.  It is almost believable – it’s funny because I will prove the believability wrong as soon as I step into the hospital.  This week I have been on a 5-day work stretch as a nurse, so 60 hours.  I have been telling myself that I am a coach and an RN – they are not separate.  As soon as I step in the door of the hospital, I struggle to be the coach and non-people-pleaser that I want to be.

I have been working on this for some time.  I am not trying to jump intentionally to feeling good, but I have been in this story for so long.  Please help.

Intentional Model
C – ME
T – I am not a people-pleaser
F – curious
A – I ask myself questions and others questions, I never beat myself up, I enjoy both my careers at once, I do not act weird, I DO NOT CALCULATE HOW PEOPLE TAKE EVERYTHING I SAY BEFORE SHIFT
R – I please myself.

Thank you so, so much.