post traumatic growth

Hi there.

I really want to stop feeling like a victim in my divorce from my ex-husband. He was extremely cruel and abusive, lying and cheating etc. so I can get very resentful when I think back on the things he did to me. I know that I have to change the way I think about it though because it is so painful.

I wonder if post-traumatic growth is a better way to consider it all. I have done a lot of work (clearly need more) and am so excited about certification next month. I probably wouldn’t be going down this path if I hadn’t gone through this dark time as I hid my self-help books from him.  He told me that stuff was embarrassing and when I would talk about self-help he would tell me not to say things like that out loud…. so… I know I would have been too embarrassed to follow this path living under the same roof as him.

I get annoyed though because his new girlfriend is into all of this self-help stuff and now he is suddenly ok with it… but with me I was “crazy”…. See how I ping pong… just even in this letter. I get strong and decisive and then I see the unfairness in it and I get resentful again.

Is it discipline that I need? Why is it so hard? Help!!!
Thank you:)