Poverty mindset

I was doing some deep meditation earlier this year and the thought:’your poverty mindset is keeping you and your family poor.’ Came full charge into view.

This was something I’ve always knew but never fully realized.

While I don’t live below the poverty line and don’t live a life of wanting it’s very true that I have some serious issues surrounding money that are keeping me from being in a place (or any place really) I want to be financially.

Almost every time I receive money I spend it at least some of it almost right away. Though I’m very thrifty and calculating with what I spend it on (…i just realized I brain is totally tricking me when i spend money like that. As in ‘oh it’s not so bad because i’m only spending x instead of xxx amount of dollars’ :/
what do you think?)
Anyway, also, when i think about money i become apathetic. I am not motivated by it at all (I’d rather be helpful than paid – though i’m happy to be paid), I also never really want it around (hence the spending) but I also know and realize I need it to live and to exchange it for things I want in my life.
The whole thing sort of drives me a bit crazy and confused when i look at it from the outside.

Since I’ve had this realization of my poverty mindset I’ve been having trouble getting to the thought behind this so i can start making some changes. I get to a point and i know there is something there but I can’t see it.

I am really really looking forward to changing my relationship with money.
As I would like to view it as a useful tool to aquire than a confusing burden to bare.

What are your ideas?

Looking forward to hearing what you have to say.

Thank you so much!