Practicing feeling emotions/feelings.

During my 20 minute coaching session today the coach suggested that I work on my emotions/feelings. I have a lot of victim mentality around my story. I was given up for adoption as a baby, I always felt like my adoptive parents were trying to abandon me; I didn’t have a love or safe connection with my adopted mom. Other siblings were also adopted but seemed to receive all of her love and attention. As an adult, I reached out to my adoptive parents just to meet them but they were very adamant that they didn’t want to meet me.

My husband of 35 years at the time was having an affair but I had to pull every ounce of information out of him which only feeds into my victim story that I’m unworthy and unwanted. I can see how I am making the story bigger by not looking for another story but I can’t seem to come up with a model or feel that is different from what I believe.

C: Husband
T: He lies about everything,
F: Distrust
A: Resentment, avoidance, and distance myself from him.
R: I lie about my feelings

C: Husband
T: He says loving things but his actions don’t match his words.
F: Unworthy
A: Act small and confused.
R: I don’t believe his words, avoid him, don’t connect.

I’m trying to find just one feeling/emotion that I can believe to start a new model and make progress for me without me always saying this is because of him.