A proper thought download

For 10 months I have been doing the thought downloads and recently I had a thought that said “I don’t think I’m doing this right. This seem more like journaling where I am thinking up what to say about whatwver the monthly subject is.” After listening to your best of where you said for a thought download we should ask ourselves what are we thinking. I haven’t been doing that. So I have been asking myself that in the last few days and nothing comes to me. Nada. How do I get the tidal wave of thoughts to flow to me so I can benefit more from this and really see why things are so hard. Often the thought downloads that I’ve done that are more like journaling are pretty positive but that belies the heartache I have. How to help please.