protocol chatter reporting back

This day last week I posted protocol chatter sums up my mind relation to food, weight and exercise.

You said I should write out what I will eat, follow it, not exercise more than an hour per day and watch my mind – and report back. I added to this taking off my apple watch because I was making myself burn at least 800, closer to 1100 calories per day…I know not normal! You also said only exercise I love.

Here is what I have found.

I love all exercise. If I could do anything it would be to train, walk, hike, sprint, garden, swim, ski every day of my life. I feel like I need to move to think, that I am born to move.

I eat to avoid boredom, exhaustion and being still. I don’t want to sit still and just Be. I cant find the thought I am avoiding. Its almost like I am avoiding not having anything to think about. Its silly. I was raised in a busy household, always doing something. Even now when my mum comes to visit no one sits still, its always about what we can do next, its manic and makes me feel quiet stressed. I noticed this week I do the same thing. So instead of sitting still I snack, cut up carrots, celery, get out the olives, snack… This week I only did that one evening and I saw myself doing it. That time it was all around exhaustion, again, I was tired, it had been a long day, my youngest was sick and had been up most of the night before, and instead of just sitting still or going to bed my brain was saying, you need food, your tired, eat something. What a thought error! Your tired, eat something! So my new thought is your tired, go to bed.

What I found deeper than being bored and tired is that I choose to worry about getting fat again because it protects me from what lies beneath that ‘issue’ I have had for almost 2 decades. If I stop thinking about food and exercise…I will have no excuse not to create something in my life that is phenomenal, no excuse not to thrive in business and life, nothing to hide behind anymore.

And today for the first time I realized I am no longer scared of that – I am ready for it – I am done with the rinse repeat life – getting out of the cave and into the wilderness! Doing the thought work, managing the mind and keeping my eye on what I want that is so much better than thinking about food and exercise is the taste of freedom I needed.

So much love and thanks.