Hey Brooke. I have a question about your response to a recent question from another Scholar (Title: ABSTINENCE VS KEEPING WINE IN MY LIFE)

In your response about the stats on who keeps alcohol in their lives and who quits altogether, you said, “All that’s relevant to you is what you want and what you believe is possible for yourself.”

I think the only reason my goal is to totally remove alcohol from my life is that *I don’t believe it’s possible* for me to have alcohol in my life without constantly obsessing over it. This belief is 100% based on my past experiences, though, and you usually say not to use your past as evidence for your future. So my next thought is, maybe I can work on CHANGING this belief!

“What I want” would be to be able to have alcohol in my life in a VERY casual way, not drinking regularly but able to have a glass or two if I feel like it at an event or an outing. But… if keeping alcohol in my life in any capacity requires having drink plans forever (which is what you mentioned people do if they keep it in their lives at all), I don’t see that as “casual” relationship with alcohol. So my mind just kind of shuts down on the issue and says – I either cut it out entirely OR I commit to having drink plans and being very controlled and methodical with my drinking. Neither of which would help me to reach my ideal scenario of having a very, casual relationship around alcohol.

So my question is: Are those my only two options, or could I work on building a new belief that it’s possible to have the best of both worlds??? Because it seems like you’re saying that’s not possible for those of us doing the Stop Overdrinking program, so I don’t want to jack anything up. Haha. But maybe I am just totally misinterpreting – so I’d love to hear your explanation or advice on this!