How would you approach this?
I went through a really rough patch after the birth of my first child. It wasn’t a formally diagnosed depression, but I remember feeling absolutely terrible for several months, battling with dark thoughts and trying so hard to swim up to the surface.
There are no facts to write down about this because it was all in my head, but I still feel tender about it, and part of me regrets not being able to enjoy the first months of my baby’s life because I was feeling so lost and confused. In my mind I feel affection and empathy for the “me” I was then, and see how far I’ve come.
It looks like I’m really attached to this story, though, kind of like the trials and tribulations that make the hero who he is, and I wonder if/how I should try to rewrite it.
The silver lining of it is that I was much better prepared for the birth of my second child, much more present and appreciative through the first few months. I have also been able to discuss this experience with other young mothers, and hopefully make them feel that it was ok to feel ambivalent or sad or confused during that time. And I also showed to myself that I could get through dark times and come out the other side stronger and knowing myself better.