Realisation about self from doing May homework

Hi Brooke,

The third person I’m doing this week is myself, relationship with myself, and on doing the homework for Day 18, I have a big realisation.
I withhold love because I think that it is a motivation for her (myself) to work harder and achieve more to earn my love and approval. It is what I have been doing in the past, since a kid, to earn love and approval from my dad!

Now my dad and I are oceans apart, and he is still disapproving of my life choices, but I don’t see it face-to-face, and I avoid talking to him. I am withholding love for myself, I am doing this very thing to myself!

But Brooke, how do I change that? How do I begin to love myself unconditionally? And not immediately discount my achievement and withhold appraisal and love because I’m using it as a motivation to make myself work harder, which actually has the opposite effect. The two me sometimes feel at war!