Hello Brooke, et al.

So, this one might be messy but I have to start somewhere!

I’m doing week 3 on myself. I have been battling myself every day since I started SCS in March. There is disconnect between what I **think** I want to do and what I do. Each day, I build my schedule, including the following:

1. start school so I can change careers
2. do SCS each day for an hour or more
3. start doing yoga several times a week.

I feel guilty every morning because I did not do the things from the day before.

Here is my thought download from this morning: “Sometimes I think that I’m purposefully mean to myself. It’s because I don’t truly believe in myself or my goodness. It’s as if the belief that ‘I don’t matter’ is still with me after all these years. I desperately want to believe I can and will do all the things, but each day’s behavior confirms the opposite.
Unintentional
C – How I treat myself
T – It feels gratifying when I’m mean to myself.
F – Confused and upset, out of control
A – Continue pattern of procrastination and discontentment
R – Unhappy, stay same

Please advise on an intentional model. I couldn’t get past C. 🙂

I realize I’m kinda all over the place here, but again, I need to start somewhere and I’m hoping your guiding light can help me get specific and successful.

Thanks so much.
LRS