Rebuilding a couple after big problems

My husband and I separated a few months ago, but we still love each other and our goal is to get back together sooner or later.
However, even if we have used these months to exchange a lot, put things on the table and especially try to evolve and grow (with coaching, individual and couple therapies, shrinks, books, exercises etc), we wonder if we will succeed in healing our wounds and rebuilding our relationship. Each of us in turn gets discouraged and gives up, then gets hope again. But we are exhausted, and desperate, and we are now in a very negative phase where we can’t fight any more, while being drained by grief and missing each other.
I don’t even know what my question is, I have no real question to ask you, no incomplete model to submit to you… Iā€™m sorry. I would just like some advice, a soothing thought, some help. I am lost and desperate.
Thank you.