Hello SCS team,

On Monday night I had a THOUGHTS and FEELINGS meltdown, just when I thought I was getting a hang of this. The quick summary: my partner’s brother invited my boyfriend over for a celebratory birthday dinner and his girlfriend and did not invite me. This is after I’ve hosted many dinners for the four of us and attempted multiple times to include them in his organized birthday celebrations (without a response from either of them). This night (where I stayed home and buffered alone with Netflix) was devastating for me, complete with emotional tunnel vision, searing heat on my skin, and sobbing (so much drama). I did the work and my models and have come out the other side much calmer and peaceful, with a better understanding of my “manual” for extended family, and the substantial amount of energy I spend trying to remedy the relationship we have with them. I’ve realized I need to release my expectations/manual of them, stop focusing so much energy on trying to change the reality of our relationship, and direct that energy back to myself. But I’m still shell-shocked by just how devastated I was by the events, and how quickly it impacted everything around me: sobbing, unable to sleep, distancing myself from my partner (who very much enjoyed his birthday dinner). Do you have any recommendations (specific podcasts, reading materials in the assets folder) on how I continue to use this event as a learning opportunity?

Thank you!