C: Conversation with boyfriend, asked him if he could mow or weedeat the yard before it gets really cold because there’s long weeds around the sidewalk I stare at out the window of my office, he said “I’ve never mowed or weedeated in December,” and then he said “I can bring the weed eater to the house if you want?” (It’s out at the shop, not at our house)

T: He doesn’t care about what’s important to me.
F: Unimportant
A: I respond to him by saying “I know where you keep it.” and not make eye contact with him while I say that
A: Reject his offer for him bringing the weed eater so I can take care of the weeds myself
A: Judge myself for wanting the weeds gone and asking him to take care of them (the yard is his responsibility)
A: Judge our relationship
A: Make his un-desire to weedeat the weeds mean something about how much he cares about me/our relationship
A: Not loving me
A: Not loving him or respecting his desire to not want to do that
A: Try to push down my desire for wanting these weeds gone, try to pretend my desire for wanting the weeds gone is gone
R: I don’t care about what’s important to him.

Somewhere in here I also feel rejected. Deeper underneath the thought in this model too is a belief that He doesn’t care about me, I don’t matter, I don’t matter to him, which of course, are all super painful thoughts. Is that what you’re seeing too? Wanting to gain awareness around how I’m creating my experience of rejection all by myself.

Thanks coaches!