This topic has been something that has been repetitive over the years but I’m finally trying to get a handle on it (reason for joining SCS). Certain circumstance will trigger certain thoughts that will make me feel: insecure, unimportant, undesirable, not enough, etc. I am ready to choose new thoughts however the Model below is the closest I can get to believable but am still sitting with a lot of discomfort afterwards, so perhaps I’m missing something?
Unintentional: C – boyfriend decides he is coming to visit Saturday bc he has plans with friends Friday. T – I had told him I had Friday off a while ago, why doesn’t he want to see me sooner? F – unimportant A – act needy, get upset, act cold towards him R – I try to control him and what he does.
Intentional (this is how I actually handled it)
C – same T – I am learning that I can choose the thoughts that I want that will make me feel a certain way. F – empowered A – accept his decision, learn to sit with the discomfort and pain, step into those feelings, feel them all the way through, cry, tell myself I am becoming an emotional adult. R – I am supportive in my relationship, I am becoming my future self.
I can act mature and appear to be accepting towards him but on the inside I don’t feel it. I still feel all the s**t. What do I need to ask myself to move through this? Thank you Brooke!