Hello coaches,

Doing the How to organize your mind study book, I found out that I often fell into victim mentality, especially with my ex (my children’s father). He had twins with his new wife. My daughter had to give up her room for the twins and sleeps now in the attic. For Christmas, they had one gift and the twins and his new wife’s children had at least five. His new wife said to my daughter that she hated her and my ex didn’t stand up for his daughter.

So I felt really justified in my anger and my disappointment and I hadn’t realized that I had fallen into a victim mentality. I kept complaining about him to my parents, my husband. I felt really angry when my children said how unfair it was.

My unintentional model:
C: My daughter gave up her room and now sleeps in the attic
T: The father is totally unfair
F: Angry
A: I ruminate, I criticize him, I complain about him to other people, I wish he were different
R:

My intentional model:
C: My daughter gave up her room and now sleeps in the attic
T: What happens at their father’s place is none of my business
F: Acceptance
A: I focus on my relationship with my kids and I show up as the mom I want to be, I don’t waste my energy ruminating and complaining about him
R:

Could you review these models please? I really find it difficult to fill in the result line…
Thank you