Hi,

This is two models of mine. Can you look at them and help me see how I can feel good about the result? I really do not know how I even want to try to think it is ok with him doing what he is doing. I know I can’t change him but how can I accept it and feel ok with it? I don’t care to excuse his action and of slamming the door etc and understand him that he has his own reasons for his actions and it is all ok. How can I move forward living with him? How can I think in a way that does not excuse his behavior, that I set a boundary and thoughts and feelings does not get stagnated?

C Husband and I have a disagreement, He says he has other priorities than to talk, slams the door hard and leaves angry.
T Why can’t he talk things thru without getting upset. Nothing is solved.
F Sad, distant from him. lonely.
A I cry and feel emotionally disconnected.
R I don’t like his behavior.

Then 2 hours later…. or a day later…..

C Husband acts like we never had a disagreement.
T It is so weird, I wish he could say sorry, I wish we could talk.
F lonely, distant
A Tell him I didn’t not like how things went earlier.
R He gets upset and tells me I am just trying to find things to argue with. he leaves, says he does not have time.

or it could also look like this…

C Husband says ” I am sorry for earlier, I was just too tired,
T if I say anything other than accept his sorry or want to bring the discussion up, he will get upset. His sorry is not true.
F lonely, distant, exhausted
A I let it be
R He thinks all is well and good. I feel emotionally distant.