Happy almost new year! I have been a huge fan of your podcast and work in general and am really looking forward to doing this work with you in 2017.
2016 was challenging for me relationship-wise. I have been with my husband over 10 years and love him very much, but for a long time he has indulged in overdrinking. We have seen a marriage counsellor and improved our communication about it but I still find myself obsessing and worried about his drinking and our future. It puts a strain on our relationship as I know I can act in a controlling and judgemental way.
Around a year ago I began, I guess, a one sided emotional affair with a married man at work. We were ‘best work friends’ but I had developed feelings for him, mainly due to our connection but also his constant compliments towards me. I started working through this earlier in the year, and encouraged him to take a new job, knowing this would help me get over the feelings. After he left for the new job in June, he started contacting me every day and this went on for a couple of months. I finally called it off in August, telling him how I felt and he also had the same feelings and insinuated that we leave our spouses to be together. I cut off contact for a while and now we check in as friends maybe once every couple of weeks – the contact is just friendly, nothing beyond that. Unfortunately after 4 months, I still have feelings for him and do think about him every day. I know I’ve trained my brain to do this as a habit, and it’s almost my default mode to escape from every day life, and although I feel sad about letting him go, I’m not happy with my mind in this state.
Sorry for the long post, any thoughts on moving forward in 2017 would be appreciated! Thanks so much.