I wrote in a few weeks ago about wanting to break up with my BFF because of her negativity and lack of enjoyment from our interactions. I was advised not to leave the relationship until I feel happy in it.

We had our first conversation since then today over text and I got frustrated with her today even though I promised myself to be more compassionate and let her be her. I didn’t show any signs of frustration to her, but I complained about her to my husband. I don’t seem to understand how to not to get frustrted with the things she says about herself and her life. I know that sometimes we can choose to feel negative emotion about something. Can I choose to feel frustrated about my friend being negative and not willing to do anything to grow even though help was offered?

Here is my model:

C My BFF complains about her life (no time, no money, no opportunity to change anything, etc)
T She could change her life if she wanted to
F Frustration
A Trying to avoid talking to her, complaining about her to my husband and other girlfriends, feel bad about it after, think about breaking up our friendship
R Not showing up as a good friend

I want to be a good friend, but I need help with a thought to feel more compassionate about her behaviour.