I agreed to a good friend’s request that I photograph her event for free, as she is trying to save $$. My gut reaction was no thank you, but I thought that might be an autopilot pathway that comes from scarcity, and immediately I turned it around with thoughts like: how wonderful it is that I can offer my services in this way, to express love in this way, she would definitely do it for me. The problem is I don’t think I really believed those thoughts and was lying to myself to “be a good friend”, and now I feel resentful. I committed and I’m not going to back out, so I need help filling in the empty spaces in these models and coming up with bridge thoughts to get to a good place for when the day comes. Yes, I am a recovering people-pleaser.
C: I said yes to photographing her event
T: Why did I say yes when I really didn’t want to? I hate photographing events.
F: Resentful, angry with myself
A: beat myself, waste energy
T: Why does she always put me in this position?
Here are a couple intentional thoughts I’m working with, but I need help.
I don’t want to do it, and that’s ok. I’m going to do it anyway because I keep my word.
I am choosing to express my love and friendship by doing this (the problem here is that I don’t really want to and would rather express it a different way).
Also, what is the deal with my “convincing” myself in the moment that of course I wanted to? Was that a people-pleaseing brain ninja mind trick, or is it baby steps toward changing my thoughts for real?
Thank you, Brooke!