Self action or threat

Brooke says make requests but don’t hang negative emotions on the answers. Which I get, as everyone can do as they want and I need to accept that.

So in the instance that you make a request for more support around the home from your partner…and you get an answer of ‘no, that doesnt work for me.’ I will accept as that is his choice. However, I still need the support – so then is it a boundary that I need to put in…ie I would like some support,and if you dont help then this is what I will do? Is that a self action? Or a threat?