Hello,

I am doing some self-coaching on what my husband said last night. I have lots of thoughts and feelings going on right now, so some guidance would be terrific.

C: Husband said, “I have a lump in my groin and I am worried”
T: He has cancer and the girls and I are going to lose everything.
F: Scared
A: Ruminate, procrastinate, buffer, stop working/studying, stop researching holiday, put everything on hold. Think about how to tell my girls, tell myself the girls will lose their careers. Constantly worrying. Look for answers.
R: Give up on living myself as l have already chosen to believe the girls and I are going to lose everything.

I have a lot of judgment about myself and what it means for me. I have asked myself, is it true? What does it mean to be scared? What does that actually look like? I have also questioned myself on what would someone else think? They may think that it could be benign and this is what this model could look like.

C: Husband said, “I have a lump in my groin and I am worried”
T: It’s okay, it’s probably benign.
F: Calm ( but the truth is, I’d still feel worried)
A: Get on with the day, tell myself we just have to wait for results, stop worrying, do my regular activities and plan my holiday.
R: Keep living. ( I am not sure about this R)

I am being compassionate with myself and I am telling myself, it’s actually okay to be worried at this moment. It will be clear in a week or so and then we can make some decisions from a place of knowledge.

Any advice would be appreciated.