Self-doubt or questions about what thoughts others have in their models – Part 2

I recently wrote about my thoughts about what guy I am dating said and my thoughts about it…
Thank you for the response.

It was: Your A-line is very focused on trying to figure out what he thinks of you. The result of these actions is that you don’t find yourself attractive. Your opinion of you is the only one that matters. When we focus on others’ thoughts about us, we give more weight to others’ opinions.
Other peoples’ opinion of us is none of our business. Notice the story your mind creates: I need something to be attractive. If you found yourself attractive and loved your reasons why, it would not matter if he found you attractive or not.
What happens when you drop the story he doesn’t find you attractive?

Okay, so my result is that I am not finding myself attractive…. Hmmm….

My follow up question:
How do I drop the story he doesn’t find me attractive? Is there a specific technique for this?
If I just don’t focus on it, I just think I’m attractive, or relatively so (I’m cautious about being overly self-confident and therefore egotistical or something like that).
I am concerned about his thoughts about me because I think that will impact our relationship.
I have the belief that my ex-spouse’s thoughts about me impacted our relationship, even though I kept loving him. So I’m kind of cautious and think I should be more alert now to my partner’s thoughts, whereas I was less so before.

Thank you